Look Chap, Get Over It. You’re Part Of This Country.

Well then. If you were part of the Wimbledon centre court crowd yesterday, and thought that Federer had clawed back from two sets down to beat Nadal, you should be thinking seriously this morning about doing the decent thing and committing suicide.

As I was watching the game on television, and this doesn’t happen often, I felt a sudden pity to our dear Swedish friend when all the while I wanted him to lose so badly. It’s the same with what is going on in the country right now. For one moment, I wanted Mr.Panda to just stay quiet, the fear of what is going to happen when he was announced free from the zoo. Then again now, I want old Mr.Bald to just leave. I’m getting rather annoyed especially with politician’s wives these days in their size 16 summer frocks, furiously banging their bingo wings together every time they attend their favorite superstar event. And raising what’s left of the roof every time their Bollywood superstar comes over.

This was not Palestine versus Israel. It was two individuals who have worked their way to be the country’s leader, bashing it out at each other on the world’s political forefront and their whooping and idiotic actions, made this country a mini circus of embarrassment.

Politics is as much about mental attitude and putting speech to action. It’s always easy to promise and hope that the people would just forget but not anymore. Then again, it’s hard to get your head in gear when you are faced with a sea of highlighted raspberry-ripple women waving their Daily Mails at you and applauding every time you do a double fault.

By far, the politics have gone dirty and it has cross the extent of ‘ just politics ‘. This has not happen before. Because the MP’s used to have, well a bit of manners. But of late, many of this pot-belly, Mercedes-driving masses had surfaced to the top.

Question is, how did we turn into a mini circus. A drama watched by every other country in the world. It’s funny, I never had a problem with the government or its people in there. I recognize the massive contribution it’s made to everyone. I’ve always supported the boys in blue. Certainly, if I felt the need to poke a bit of fun at someone, the deputy makes a much better target if you know what I mean.

All of this political talk is fine when it’s good natured, but it appears now that these days, that veneer of friendly rivalry is being replaced with a mask of smiling anger. Sometimes I get the distinct impression that if I mention Mongolia, Mr.Bald would lean over and pull my arms off or probably sent agents to blow me up.

So in this column, it would be a plea. Can you all stop it ? Both sides have clearly lost the trust of the people. You’re both part of this country and at this rate, almost all in the ruling and opposition party are incapable of running the show. You’ve had 5 decades to get used to this, and it’s starting to look as though you’re being stubborn.

The fact is, we the people out here, are watching day by day of your amusing political stage play. We are grateful for having achieve independence and inventing Nasi Lemak. If all of you want to throw each other over because you’re unhappy that you’ve suddenly lost, think again, the people are taking the effects of your doing. Why are you both trying to create red tapes in each other’s territory ? Can we at least be friends, just like what we were 50 years ago ?

Because if we can’t, next time there’s a match between the boys of black and blue, I shall simply support the person who lives nearest to me. And that’d be, our dearest friend, the Singaporeans.

At this hour, try stepping into our shoes and for one moment, Think for us, not for thy self or we shall all fall.

Nothing Quite Beats The Experience Of A Turbo Toilet

Voila !

In view of a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim of the PETROL RISE and by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.

However this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivifed and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

Therefore the only verdict is vengeance, a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily , this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply tell you that the first 3 paragraphs was just rubbish and you do not have to call me V.

As how they say, we have the cheapest petrol price in Asia. Oh, they could go on with how grateful we are on this side of Jupiter’s second moon. Yet strangely, every time I close my eyes and open it again, the country is hiking up fuel and power price.

Actually if you do the math, with the rebates, if you drive a small car, the petrol actually went up by half the price stated. But as how many might say, ” petrol up, pay no up”.

Therefore I can proudly say, I have decided to get on my new 7 x 3 speed gear system, powered by a 146.44 Joules natural motor and its full body convertible where you can feel wind running through your entire body..

The Bicycle.

I’ve been terrified recently that we in this country have been coping with the hike of prices of perhaps everything. I’d much rather we had continued to walk in step with the Japanese who are now so civilized that they have a system on roads where the bus driver lets the car go first and you can be sure that not only trains but even buses will arrive at the designated time.

Think about it. An overcrowded island nation that in recent history has enjoyed great power, fondness for good manners, bureaucracy and well if things are not right, some cruelty comes in but all in all, they drive on the correct side of the road, unlike our motorcyclist here, and because they have such a great society, they can even tell where someone had grown up, studied and probably which family you’re from just simply by watching them hold their chopsticks.

Perhaps because of this relaxed attitude of ours, when the chips are down, we rock like a fishing boat in the ocean. When things go up, we continue to work. And we work harder. Japanese people can expect to live longer than anyone else on earth. Like the French and the Icelanders, who also smoke a lot and eat well, they have a good chance of reaching 100. It’s only us who worked like slaves who drop dead in a gym at age 30.

Then again, I’m not saying that living in Japan is cheap. The living cost there is high actually but if we were to look at them a few decades before, many would have agreed that Japanese make cheap items, Japanese slippers or maybe Japanese cars were rubbish. Look at them now. Let’s not look too far and look at something more of a daily usage. This is the part where we, together with the western country differs, the lavatory.

Not too long ago I visited Japan and first of all it is all comfy if you just came in from a cold outside and the toilet seat is warm. You may find a number of stickman images telling you what you shouldn’t do to the poor bog as well. Onward to the warm seat, there is no way I could imagine how a toilet can do this, which means I was sitting there imagining the heat had come from a fat bloke who’d been the last person to use this cubicle. Soon I became convinced that it was possible to catch cancer on my bottom from the latent heat of another person’s bottom.

Done with my business and could not wait to get out of there as soon as possible. I turned to my left and discovered to my horror that the toilet roll had been replaced with what can only be described as the Star Trek’s Starship Enterprise’s dashboard.

And it was all in Japanese.

The first button I pressed made the seat even warmer. Afraid of getting cooked, I pressed on another button which made a fountain of what can be described as liquid nitrogen shoot up my bottom. So hurriedly and in great cold over ‘there’, I pressed another hopeful looking button which simply redirected the fountain up my back. By now, I would be utterly embarrassed coming out of the loo and having those cute Japanese girls whispering ‘ooo hee hee he just shit in his pants,’.

In a great state of distress, I slide a control all the way up and immediately got a pretty good idea of what can be said to sit on a fuel rod from a nuclear power station. Myself and my bottom is in real trouble. To my delight, there was however an emergency stop button which brings everything to a halt and I gladly took up my own toilet paper to finish what I started.

I couldn’t understand why would someone steam-clean their regions? Why would you want to sit on a hot plate? And how is it possible to auto-wash your region with a bloody fountain? Frankly speaking, who gets up in the morning and say ‘ Hmm, perhaps I’ll stop off at BB Services and deep-freeze my jewels,’.

And the last button I decided to hit was thankfully the flush button. But not yet, on the first jab, I filled the cubicle with what seem to be like a ringtone, tap it again and you get sounds of a running tap water. It wasn’t till I hit into the sub-menu that I heard the sound of the flush and water being sucked away. Then again, only to find that it was just the recording of a flush being played through a speaker. Why? Why would I want everyone to know I’m flushing the bog.

I search high and low to find the conventional ‘pull me’ handle only to get a jet of water squirt onto the front of my pants. I emerged from the cubicle getting everyone to think as though I didn’t have enough time to lower down my pants. All the pretty girls smirked and it was a hilarious misfortune but I felt pretty much at home.

The Rise in Rice Price & Pricking Politicians

Someday we might need sushi to be our main food as a bowl of rice would cost just as the same. Or a little more.

**note : if you find your font to be small. try holding Ctrl and scroll your mouse wheel to make it larger. You can always scroll back to make it the way it was.

It has been said that the price of rice is not going to rise, any further. Then again, on shelves of supermarkets, rice are no where to be seen. Not even the smallest 1kg bag you would use to get for free gifts when buying a dish washing liquid. So yes, the biggest and most popular source of carbohydrate in the country has gone missing and there is only one company that holds imports to them. Why the rise and who is making benefit out of it ?

And by the way, price that goes up will never go down. And you can forget about the politicians manifestos during the election as well. Anything relating to price reduction is bollocks and well the only thing you can count on is income tax claims at the end of the year to be a bit more than last year.

Therefore, if this continues, you would probably be eating your favorite sambal belacan and ikan bilis with potatoes and Gardenia’s rather than rice. This too would probably drive half the population to set fire to the other half. Then again , we are not alone. Various places around the world are having food riots. Italians are complaining about the price of pasta, Bolivians are fighting over vegetables and Americans are always on their natural or GM food.

So you might imagine that all of the world’s scientist are currently in their bunkers, desperately trying to figure out why the world is running out of food all of a sudden. You might also think that the politicians are fighting their way through to get rice. Mind you, they are currently having an afternoon tea brewing tea leaves from the high mountains of China, spreading their bread with Irish butter, eating butter tarts from Schillings on the Danforth and they’re probably thinking how much Iranian saffron should be added for dinner.

Everything has pretty much changed since the day election was over. Some for the better, many for the worst. The power of blogging used by oppositions has caused a great impact in the recent election and the ruling government is planning to bring their game into the ballpark as well.

After so many years spending on multimedia super corridor, building research and economic centers in and out of our country and funding young bright scientist to do their research overseas, I thought we’d learn our mistakes from the past. I thought that was what history is taught in school for, so that we do not repeat the idiocy of our previous figures. So that we could lead a better nation. But looks like, even after 11 years of studying history in schools and another 1 more year in university, I thought we’d reached a new pit of scientific, political and economic advancement towards the vision 2020 or 3030 or any double number that looks good if we cannot make it on time, is all rather a balderdash.

Of course my views are just my views. And after all this is my private rant not published on search engines and read by all of you for the fun of , well , reading ? Anyway, I just dislike people making manifesto and, I would not say not sticking to them, they do, they just a bloody long time. Term after term the manifesto is being carried forward. This doesn’t mean that I’m not supporting the ruling government but the opposition. No. This goes to both sides. Because when there is power in the hands, people slack, they make mistakes, they get distracted.

I think if you believe what the local media, scientist and politicians these days say, you’d never dare to get up, go outside, say out your views (of course never touch the racial issues as it is for the good peace of all) or even dip your celery into the smallest pinch of salt. You’d be terrified that a cabbage would turn you into Borat. You wouldn’t smoke, drink or even go near to a chicken because you might get birdflu.

Then again, are you bothered ? Neither am I. But really, I’m wondering, why do these people get up, stretch and say ” Hmm, lets make a change today,” And if he didn’t, did anyone pay him to do it ? And why ? Who benefits from all this change ?

Is it the Indonesians or the Singaporeans, I wonder ? Are they about to claim that we are running out of fish because the fishes are swimming across to the other side ? Or we going to do something about it.

So. If you want to eat your rice. I sure do know I want to eat mine. And at the same price as before. Walk your talk. And start eating Planta rather than Kerrygold, save up a little. Also stop buying Range Rovers because we need to save the ozone right above our heads before your new manifesto is about patching the holes up above.

Rock Up Music For Change 2008

*Note that this is not the final version of the poster however everything you need to know about the event is already listed below. Cheers -simaaron-

My name is Shazlin Aiysha. I am representing Agathians Shelter in PJ. Agathians Shelter is a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) shelter for boys who are either orphaned, abandoned or from broken families. Therefore, it is very much dependent on public and corporatecontributions. There are currently 30 growing boys sharing a total of
five bedrooms in two separate rented houses.

Agathians Shelter receives no funding from the government because they have not met the requirements set by the ministry. According to one of their requirements, a shelter for the underprivileged children should not be a middle lot because it is not conducive to the children’s
learning; therefore it has to be a corner or bungalow lot. Currently, both terrace units of the Agathians Shelter are middle lots so to stand a better opportunity to qualify for fundings, they choose to take up the challenge and strive for an independent building.

We are organizing an event on behalf of this shelter in order for them to collect enough money to build their own home. They are currently renting a place and this has cost them more than they could afford as they are solely relying on public donation to survive. More often
that not, these funds are not enough to sustain their living expenses of RM 13, 000.00 per month.

Rock Up!

Music To Change

In aid of the Agathians Building Fund

Date: 9th May 2008

Venue: Centre Court, The Curve

Time: 12pm - 10pm

A few highlights of our event:

• Fly FM dj Prem and Juliana Ibrahim will host the 1st half of the event. Celebrity twins May Wan & Choy Wan will host the 2nd half of the show
• Performances by our local English acts throughout the day - Furniture, Couple, Ferns, Juwita Suwito, Frequency Cannon, Seven, Witherspoon, and more
• Celebrity appearances by Joanna Bessey, Harith Iskander, Deborah Priya Henry, and more
• Mini concert showcasing the talented children from Agathians Shelter
• Fashion Show - showcasing clothes by Purpledotz
• Fashion Auction - clothes sponsored by Naf Naf and CK Jeans (All proceeds will go to the Agathians Building Fund)
• Raffle draw - Buy our raffle tickets (RM 5 each!) and win prizes such as a dinner date with May Wan & Choy Wan, RMK Cosmetics hampers, and food vouchers/hampers from Eden, Marche, and La Gourmet

Confirmed performances:
1) Diplomats of Drum
2) Couple
3) Seven
4) Ferns
5) Furniture
6) Transient Vortex
7) Repulse
Prema Yin
9) Witherspoon
10) Basil Band
11) KIRI
12) Zalila Lee
13) 7.8 Hertz
14) Juwita Suwito
15) Frequency Cannon

Confirmed hosts:
1) Choy Wan
2) May Wan
3) Prem
4) Juliana Ibrahim

Celebrity appearance:
1) Deborah Priya Henry
2) Chelsia Ng
3) Dawn Jeremiah
4) Joel Neoh
5) ChristienLavin
6) Joey G
7) Hannah Lo
Stephanie Chai
9) Alvin Wong
10) Joanna Bessey
11) Nell Ng
12) Harith Iskander
13) Na’a Murad
14) Christian Neal Capes
15) Will Quah

Raffle tickets will be sold before and during the event itself, and buyers will stand a chance to win the prizes on offer.

Get the raffle tickets from:

Nottingham - Priscilla Lim: priscillalyp@yahoo.co.uk
MMU - Lee Chee Seng: cheesey86@yahoo.co.uk
UM - Felicita: feli_ebjar@yahoo.com
UTAR (PJ) - Pamela: pvanetha@gmail.com
UTAR (Setapak) - Adeline: 016-4733436
UPM - Wang Kah Yong: 017-4799273 / 016-4936356
IMU - Khoo Hui Wen: 017-4676785
UKM - Diane Wong: 016-4221152
Mahsa - Joyce: 017-4716842
The One Academy - Brandon: 012-3684088
Help - Amanda: 016-2459090
Taylor’s - Fareeza: 012-3766844

As much as I love going to shows and supporting causes for the community, unfortunately I have commitments which I have to attend to which prevents me from attending the Rock Up Music For Change 2008 Event. Nevertheless, I am sure that the event will be a great success and a blast and I hope that all of you who attend this event would have a great time at the same time supporting the community around you. –simaaron-

Step Aside Nitwit. I’d Rather Do It Myself

“Talk to the hand, cause the face ain’t listening,”

Hello, hello and hello. Good merry to all especially if you are reading this at any KTM station wondering why all the trains and tracks are not turned into iron ore because they’re utterly useless to begin with, they always arrive … well unpredictable.

Or conversely, you might be at a small town, sitting down in your tiny room on the university campus pondering the vexing question of why the phone lines are so messed up for the last 3 weeks and the roads leading to which was due last year is still under-construction this year.

Or perhaps, you might be taking a 5 minutes break to read this, because I sent you this link, or you might be like sweet little fun-sized Amelia who thinks this write up has more paragraphs than a Boeing-747 jumbo jet manual and why oh why there is only one picture at the start of it.

Preferably, you might not want to be in the state of a student right now because the internet on campus frustrates you to your corpus callosum whilst juggling on 10 million completely pointless coursework and trying to study for the exams which are only 10 days away. This brings me to this rant.

Well, I am afraid the answer to your frustration is simple. In the older days, all that stood between the bosses and the work being done was the government. And the government can be silenced most of the time with a corned beef sandwich and a few promises of some butter tomorrow for the workforce.

Not any more. Now, when you want to get something done, the government is the least of your worries. Because you must also ensure that no locals as in locals, awh you know who and what I mean, are upset in any way by what you’re planning, that no creatures will be dislodged, that you won’t make any unnecessary carbon dioxide and that they are all as sober as a Sunday church mate and if should a flood at the end of the year, provisions are in place to send everyone home for at least a year. Which of course various parties would say they need to restructure and think and what not.

That’s before you go to the government, which has a multiple non-optional red tapes you will have to comply with which eventually you will end up paying a large sum of money that would be spent on buying toy boats and rubber duckies.

By the time you phone lines and internet lines are actually fixed within the small town you’re at right now, it would have taken a hundred and seventy twelve years because the land is owned by someone else who owes someone else that goes back all the way to the government, the communication tower was approved by an engineer, who happens to be on the other side of the world so you cannot touch his ‘Arc de Triumphe’ , and the phone waves generated by the tower might cause brain cancer to the villages living nearby and that their ducks and chickens might turn into Freddy and Jason overnight which then leads to the common line, ‘ Sorry, we are upgrading the system’.

I believe that the time has come to stop the nonsense and fix what ever that is not fixed. Let’s go back to the days when speed was not a dirty word (so that I could drive my 911 GT2 without getting a summon). Let’s go back to the days where private sectors and governments knew that they existed to serve us and that we weren’t just nuisances who are told to stay at home if we’re not involved whilst making endless phone calls complaining.

Let’s get builders and technicians in there tomorrow or now and let’s allow them to smoke so that they don’t have to hide in the toilet every 15 minutes to light a fag.

So get down to it and fix this internet and phone line problem because I got disconnected every 2 seconds from MSN while talking to Yenli, 20 reconnection’s to write this and all my short messages sent yesterday got delivered today.

Busy Busy Busy

 

It’s high time again. 5 weeks until exams and I am still completely lost in the lectures with Dr.Molotov. The only thing I could possibly understand is , ” vwell ” , “virst ov all ” and “ve simply put “. My personal favourite however is when he starts to mutter in front of the microphone. ‘Brr brr brr’ says the chemical genius leaving 150 people spending 90% of their brain power deciphering his well versed “Ingrrissh”.

Yes. I’ve been busy and to make matters worst, a string of coursework are coming in this week and next week. It’s pretty obvious that Malaysians only sleep 24 hours a week with 25 hours of work a day. Meanwhile , far on the other side of the earth, the kids in the UK are enjoying a one month Easter break. ONE MONTH ! That’s pretty much overkill. You can cover your entire semester studies in one month !

So the election hoo haa is over. I remembered a minister who once commented on the protest spree going on around weeks or months before the election. He said , ‘ the silent majority has spoken ‘ as the headlines which very much refers to the majority of the nation are uncomfortable and disagree with this protest thing going on around town. And the recent election indeed proved that his ’silent’ majority has ’spoken’. Good enough . So now I can see that the world is round after all.

Well I’m sorry for not updating this site for such a long time. It went down for 3 days previously due to some technical problems. I hope you check back in as you always do. Be it daily or weekly as I think in the next few weeks, I’m going to be pretty annoyed with some things around me and I’m going to be writing a lot.

Cheers.

Fresh Labels - The Fashion Show 2008 !

This is a fashion show that CANNOT be missed !

SIFE Fashion Show

Right. For the next 2 and the half weeks, I need you guys to stay with me and check this site often aight. Cause I’m going to be posting up teasers and posters regarding this fashion show. It’s a huge annual event.

Venue : Zouk

Date : 20th March 2008

Time : Evening/Night (exact time TBC)

As for me. I’ll be really busy with lots of work. So hang in there ! =)

Shoot Me .. It Beats Malaysian Studies

Erm .. does it ? Even after studying the same thing for the past 10 years. I’m a bloody engineer. Not a historian. 

Last year, I’ve mentioned that an average waste approximately 400 days sitting on the lavatory in his entire life time. But 400 days is nothing compared to today.

I thought I was done with all these annoying subjects. But no. Just when I was about to throw my hands up into the air and shout ‘bravo’ in an annoyingly loud volume, I was dragged back into the second part of this compulsory subject. Malaysian studies.

Now some say, that in this subject, you might learn how to use the word ‘lah’ in every applicable sentence. And that if you actually wind your clock to stay coherent with the Malaysian time, you would still be early. All we know is, it is a boring subject.

And yes it is.

Gladly I would say the lecturer came in without even mentioning her name. And after an hour of explaining her set of rules and regulations, half the class was already asleep. It was a 6 hours bore to death course. I must say, I wouldn’t blame the lecturer or be annoyed by her. Because. her job is just to lecture. It is entirely not her fault that the whole course is boring.

I’d rather be annoyed with the person who suggested this small little idea to private university students. And I’m curious why local universities and semi-government universities don’t have to undergo this hideous experience. However, that is not something around here that is very small indeed. This particular idea from whosoever brain for example, is so minute, that if a hungry cannibal crack the head open, it wouldn’t be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit.

So this is all then a repeat of history studies which was done in high school for well 10 years and still we need to study more of the same history. Which is pretty much cropped, refined and tuned for public reading. I’ve come to realize that my entire 10 years of studying history, I’ve only studied one tiny partial bit of world history, which in someways still leads back to the middle east and back to the local land. Which is pointless yet again.

In fact today, it would be my second time sitting in a room for 6 hours being absolutely not productive at all, not even using 1% of the rooms oxygen. Actually, Actually, it has nothing to do with the person who suggested this boring subject, squeezing the entire course on a Saturday into a person’s life, or even a boring lecturer but everything to do with the fact that Malaysian Studies is the dullest and most stupid module next to Moral Studies in the whole history of education.

 

Another Replacement For The Replacement

Under normal circumstances, I believe that you would have closed this thread by now. You won’t be interested in cars like the Proton Saga BLM you see photographed here. However, stick with me, because you can buy it, brand new for $500.

Actually, $500 is too little for a full-size car. But I bet you couldn’t even buy a decent suit for $500.

Plainly, there are going to be a few drawbacks for a car this cheap. And sure enough, there are. It is ugly. Well not as ugly as the Hyundai Accent but along the same line. Besides, things get worse. They said that this car has plenty of space. Indeed it has space for adults at the back but only when there is no room at the front. This makes the sitting position for the driver worst than the city council’s thrash lorry.

And as I sat down, I ponder at the whole interior. Figuring out what is this car actually made of. Over the years, I’ve seen cars made over a coffee break or even so when two engineers answering the call of nature in a cubical next to each other talking about plans. But, isn’t this supposed to be the car of national pride. The one that would awake the giant leviathan and bring Hercules back to he’s feet. This suppose to be the car that would roar as loud as a thousand miles but what I’m hearing is muffle sound.

I’ve used many descriptions before to describe plastic interior. Shampoo bottles you may read before. But this… I cannot possibly compare it to another shampoo bottle. It’s not made of melted Barbies. It doesn’t feel like a DVD cover. I don’t know what it is. A Tesco plastic bag perhaps?

I thought that I should tell you that for $500, you shouldn’t expect much. But then, as the lady came to me and hand over a leaflet, it wasn’t $500 at all. The attention grabbing sticker is just a deposit. You will need to pay $37000 to secure the car.

It is the kind of money you would get a real car. A Renault Kangoo for example or maybe a VW Lupo. Heck. $37000 can pay an entire engineering degree in the local university. To my surprise, the lady asked me if I would like to test drive it. Why would I want to ruin my day when I just had the greatest feeling ever in the GTB.

But no. I am willing to sacrifice the experience and power I felt in the GTB for this one car. And my concept for this car is that it is simple and easy, made just for the sake of getting from point A to B tells me that I should drive it.

Well to begin with it was dreadful. I cannot possibly imagine why that Dr. Something who went up to space proudly state in the advert that 13 seconds from 0-110km/h is really fast. He has obviously been on a rocket. If this is ‘very fast’, I wonder how many rockets would my Mark II be equivalent to. Sure with 1.3liter under the hood you get some punch for a light car. Then again 0-110km/h takes 2 hours in the absence of a headwind. On the hill, a 7 year old cycle up without feeling a strain but this car does. By the time you get to 4th gear, you don’t feel the kick to overcome gravity. Step on it and the power jumps in as though the power distribution system was modeled after the Mountains of Titiwangsa.

With all said. I would agree to three things about this car. One would be the Clarion player. Two the steering wheel has a really compact and nice grip. And three, they have a lot of cup holders. It is after all a simple car and I hope that this, one push, would wake the giant Leviathan that was once our national pride. $31000, might worth the consideration.

So maybe, this is what the market actually wants these days.

Something that’s not very good

But probably,

Good enough.

 

The Senseless Sensational

Can you imagine what would life be like if paparazzi come after you, if they start tempting your friends with 5 figure cheques to uncover something they hope to rock the teen world ? .. Girls, boys, goats… etc.

We all have our dark secrets that we hope will remain in Hogwarts. Something that would cause us to hide and shy away from public if they know all about it. Something immoral or unpleasant. I do - I attended a course on hair styling for women. In all explains why my hair is no where near Brad Pitt’s.

Recently however, I’ve a lot of work to do on the photography side of my life. This is indeed challenging as you see, I am probably the only photographer that you would ever think of who does not have his own camera. What makes matters worst is that I do not shoot for free either. And so people start coming to me and ask me to shoot for free.

I hate it sometimes when people often compare me with other local photographers and saying who’s better and who’s not. But how is this possible when a guy who fiddles around with camera equipments for the entire day like a geek is compared to me who does 3 million other things in a day (and without a camera). 

Unfortunately that is how models wanna-be would give their opinions. Renee for example. I’m sure it would be a joy to work with her. I could already sense that all good understanding between us already without the job even starting.

On the big scheme of things, exams are over and I am back to driving around corners. This time around, I’m taking pictures for the owner’s personal car albums as well because of the one thousand two hundred and fifty six cameras installed in every corner of the city, I sense that if I ever slam my foot into the carpet, I’d go from zero to the local magistrates’ court even faster than I’d get from 0-100km/h.

What is the point of owning a fast car now when speed cameras are placed at every corner. And what’s the point of overtaking a Toyota Hilux when round the next bend there’s going to be another. And that in the next town you pass, ignorant bastards would stare and throw eggs at you because the sound of your V12 is making their plants ill.

For the first time ever in this new year, I began to feel that I’d rather take pictures of truly fast cars rather than driving them. And owning them would soon become - pointless.

Let’s start with the 599 GTB. Climb in and do the usual checks where they teach you in driving schools. Wipers squeak as they wipe across a wet screen and scrapes noisily over a bone-dry screen. Interior is all dark and gives you that feeling where outside is raining heavily and you can neither see nor feel things around you. The seats and dash were classically Italian and something you might find on a Gucci’s handbag. Worst still, its half carbon-fiber and half leather.

Headlights have the power of your aroma candles. The air-conditioner is not chilling enough and the seating position is a little awkward. Isn’t this supposed to be the ultimate cruiser? An everyday car and even without starting the keys, I was already annoyed. 

And then you look at the steering wheel and it has the controls of Kimi Raikonnen’s steering wheel. I want a car not a space-rocket to the moon. 

 But yet .. 

 The deep sound from the exhaust as you crawl up to a bout 50km/h, teasing the throttle to feel the surge from the Enzo engine, just swing it gently and gracefully along the road curvature and you will realize that this experience is so magical that not buying this car because its headlights is gay is like saying no to Megan Fox just because she has a pimple.

After 10 minutes in this car, I must say that this is astronomically brilliant! Even you’re at normal speeds on the road, you know that you are in a rare breed. You know that if by some miracle the transport minister banishes all Toyota Hilux and Proton’s off the road and present you with a no limit speed way, it would deliver a blow a hundred times stronger than what Muhammad Ali has got with 3 hands.

It feels elegant, it feels classy. It rides wide and tall. It feels diplomatic, important and gentleman. It feels like if I take ‘whisky’ out on a date, she wouldn’t want to get out probably forever. And yet under the hood lies a 5.99 liter 612 bhp mafia hit man waiting to push the button if someone sticks their nose in front of you. 

Yes you Aston Martin owners would argue with me that you’ve bought a 2 seater GT at half the price. Yes you would say Porsche can give you a better ride and a Mercedes S-Class is THE car your date would look forward to. Maybe with 1000 cameras installed and tolls rising up, a mini helicopter would be ideal.

Then again, to me, none of these things can feel so organized, or gratifying, satisfying or as sensational as the GTB. Maybe someday this might be just a picture to me; maybe someday it would be outlawed by a combination of laws. But until that day comes, I’ll keep my camera in the pocket, shut my mouth. And just drive.

 

Money Matters For Year 2008

First post of the New Year. Happy New Year!

Hold on to your pockets lads. This year is going to cost you.

When I was growing up in a small house, the first few years of my life, and it wasn’t long ago, we had to save up to a point where electricity was only used on weekends, my dad drove a car that would not start, we would only see the doctor if we are dying and a cup of tea is considered luxury. Piccadilly then is no where near Piccadilly now.

And now we fast forward to 20 years later and we find that $10,000 is nothing these days. I know someone who paid $10,000 for a set of drums. In just 20 years, Old Kent Road have turned to Mayfair. Forest packed Kuala Lumpur barely has any trees left and the world has flipped itself altogether.

As predicted, there is no snow in South Africa. There is a little in Texas, Australia’s summer and Saudi Arabia which means we are still experiencing global warming after 365 days of talk. Well more news, Saddam Hussein has been executed with much dignity, the weapons of mass destruction are safe and the people in Iraq can rest assured because they are in the hands of a well organized government such that you can find in Sweden.

Closer to home. Johor has gone for a dive and now it is drying up pretty well. Malacca is still keeping their heads up. Singapore was not washed away this time around because they now have a secret weapon in managing flood waters to stay afloat. Southern Thailand is still trying to bomb their way along the border to make a river and everyone around South East Asia is growing pretty good.

Nothing much has changed really. The parliament is still filled with 150 people having a jolly good fun. Water and electricity systems are still running. Your weekly wage hasn’t change, the government is installing more cameras on every corner of the street, the public transport is still hopeless, it takes a hundred and seventy twelve times of talk to solve the flood problems around the country, the national examination is still easy and we have been constantly told that everything is going to be better year after year. Also a lot of people are hooking up and breaking up altogether and I still do not own an Aston Martin. Oh yes, we are still experiencing a brain drain and we know that all the boring people are still on Cornetto Love desperately looking for a partner.

However, one thing I must say, that is going to change is our expenses. Yes, as speculated petrol price may or may not rise but fuel prices in Britain has already gone up and crude oil prices is expected to cross the $95 mark again. Then again, today I wake up and find that nothing is on the news regarding petrol raise, probably saving 4.4 billion dollars should be held back for a while until after the election. Back here, billions of dollars of government projects will be underway and a lot of people are going to get rich, or they can die trying at least. A few billion of dollars worth of power plant is coming up, a new harbor, highways, cyber city projects and a 900 million dollar river clean up. Brilliant. Finally, we are moving forward!

Minor setback. Proton has not closed down yet and they are releasing a new model today. Oh yes, this is not a typo, they are going to release a new model on New Year’s Day. So much for last night’s celebration then. Presumed to cost around $30,000, we will see what surprises they have installed for us this year. Perhaps bringing in something like a Proton Toureg or even a Proton Golf GTi or some sort.

Nevertheless, if fuel prices do increase, this means that price of grocery items, cars, furniture and every possible thing you can think of is going to hike up in price. A decent meal would now cost well over $10 and plain water is going to be at least 50 cents. Mind you I was looking for a new sofa set the other day, 7 years ago, it cost $4000 to have the entire set, a couple of days back, you will need to start off somewhere around $9000 for a decent set. I mean why? Sofas are just a few nails, some wood, foam rubber and a sheet of brown from the forest. Whatever. Give me a hammer and a pair of scissors and I can knock you up a sofa by noon, any size you like.

When everything is getting so pricey now, we better save up and start working our wealth rather than yelling on the streets and throwing views which some people up there claim that it is narrow and all sorts. Don’t bother about them because there are never going to listen. Start making your resolutions and fulfill them damn it.

This is important - Going to your grave alone is fine. Going to your grave broke, I can think of nothing so heartbreakingly sad.